Cliche Death Regrets
by Shintan
Summary: Short diary entries before death. Yuri - don't like, don't read. AsunaKonoka. KonokaSetsuna. Oneshot. Possible OOC.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Negima or any of its characters.**

**Notes: Flamers can go heat up my fire place. Nice reviews greatly appreciated.  
If you don't like Shoujo-ai, don't read. And a major spoiler for the anime, but I'm presuming most people have watched the XEBEC adaption already.**

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21st October 2003-  
Love.  
That word.  
It meant nothing to me. I would never use it.  
No one has been worth loving, except you. But I know that I can't love you, or even think about it.  
You're taken already.  
Every time I approach you, you greet me, I greet back cheerfully, only to hear another voice. _Her _voice. Every single time I see you, she is with you.  
She blushes, horrified to be spotted, and I can only imagine what you two were doing. You tease her more, revealing your flirtatious side. How wonderful it is.  
How I wish I was a half-demon too.  
She blushes again. Meaningless words spill out of her mouth, of no interest to me.  
You're all over her, she's letting you.  
A well acted out play, performed by you two. _Futari.  
_And I'm just the audience, who can only clap soullessly for you two.  
A forced smile finds its way to my face and I mock you two. My voice is shaky, but I try my best to sound normal.  
I'm betraying myself.

22nd October 2003-  
Just like yesterday, you and her are talking. Intimately.  
You think no one is watching, so you make advances. She complies.  
But you don't know that someone is there; someone in pain.  
_Me.  
_You push her to the wall. Your dominant side arises.  
I could hear a tiny voice, 'ojou-sama…'.  
I sneak a peek, and I see your lips on hers. You two are locked together; your bodies are merging into one, your hands are grasping onto each other for warmth, support and most importantly, _love._  
I close my eyes. I've seen this many times before, but each time is worse than before.  
I could feel a fire raging inside me. Sometimes I wish that fire would burn me, turn me into ashes, so I wouldn't have to see this everyday, every single day.  
Jealously.  
Envy.  
Maybe if I died…you would cry over my grave, think about me…even remember me once in a while; spend more time thinking about me than you do now.  
That's the most I wish for. I can't be greedy.  
After all, I'm just your best friend. Nothing more.

23rd October 2003-  
The same happens.  
You kiss her, lick her, touch her. She responds, with a tinge of red on her face and you two are enjoying it.  
And I'm just a bystander.  
I see you two walking hand in hand, 'off to shopping' you say.  
It used to be me instead of her.  
I was hoping that maybe you would ask for me to go together, maybe we three girls could have a final 'girly night together'. Shopping, talking, walking, whatever.  
I hoped for too much.  
It was just you and her, in your little world.  
No one could interfere, not even me.  
You would probably hate me for thinking this, but I really do not like Setsuna; I despise her. If it weren't for her, you and I would be as close as we were before. I would've been able to do more than hug you.

It's almost 12 o'clock midnight, and you're still not back.  
11:59:30pm.  
No one knew about these feelings. But I want you to know, because you're my best friend. Maybe a bit more, but only to me.  
11:59:40pm.  
How clichéd of me.  
I, Kagurazaka Asuna, love you - Konoe Konoka.  
When did you...? You might ask. From the day you started to run to me for comfort. From that day, I wanted to protect you, but I failed.  
I was weak.  
I _am_ weak. I'm not as strong as your beloved 'Secchan', who is skilled in everything she does and has a perfectly toned body, great for caressing, kissing, licking...

I don't regret anything I have done.

Because I haven't done anything. Nothing.

I never got to taste the delicacy of your lips that Setsuna enjoys so much; I never got to live out my fantasies with you.

I'm just, even after all we've been through - things a normal high school girl could never dream of, your friend.

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**Notes: This fic is based on Asuna's death in the XEBEC adaption of the manga. Which was horrible.**


End file.
